Friday, April 19, 2013

The Ugly Truth to Pregnancy

This is actually a post from my old blog which I already deleted. I am just re-posting this here in my new blog.

When I got pregnant, I and everyone else was too excited. People told endless stories of how wonderful pregnancy is and how happy I will be when my  baby comes, yadda, yadda, yadda. It was, to be honest, information overload. The only thing about people getting too excited is that they are so optimistic and busy telling me the good stuff that they forgot to tell me the REALITY of pregnancy. It IS a wonderful experience, overwhelming in fact, but that "pregnancy glow" does not happen to everyone all throughout the 40 weeks.

Preggers @ 9 months
Pregnancy for me was both an exciting and overwhelming experience. I was excited about the baby but at the same time I was overwhelmed with all the changes that was happening. I had a difficult first trimester because I was experiencing "morning sickness" the WHOLE day. I had a hard time keeping any food down which made me lose weight. Aside from that I had this constantly bitter almost metallic taste in my mouth. Nothing seemed to taste good. It was scary because I was vomiting so hard it drained my energy every time. I was always tired.

Most of the physical changes didn't become evident until my third trimester. I gained 60 lbs, my skin darkened and not just in the neck and armpits but all over my body. My nose! I can't even describe big it got. I had heartburn, carpal tunnel syndrome, and stretch marks. The list of undesirable changes happening to my body can go on and on.

Aside from these changes in my body I also had to deal with emotional stress and anxiety. I feel depressed (not clinically) because I had to quit my job and stay at home. My husband didn't encourage me to work during the pregnancy because as I said my first trimester was difficult. For someone who was used to working this is really a big adjustment (I had my crying spells). There was also a time when I hated the way I looked. In addition to these, I was also anxious about the health and looks of my baby. I was scared she might have birth defects or that she might be sick. I am so paranoid I wanted to have an ultrasound every week. I also remember I was so afraid of giving birth.

I dealt with the boredom and the stress by going out while I can and dolling myself up. Thankfully, my friends, family and especially my husband were very supportive of me during my pregnancy.

My amniotic fluid started leaking on March 4, 2012 at 6 am so we waited for the contractions but it didn't happen that's why when we arrived at the hospital at around 2 pm the OB said my fluid has almost dried up. They had to induce labor (which was VERY painful). I was already in labor for 8 hours but I was still stuck at 5 cm. At around 10 pm and still at 5 cm, my OB had to inform me that they have to perform an emergency C-section because if we wait any longer my baby's and my life could be in jeopardy. The procedure started at 10: 45 pm and my beautiful baby girl arrived into this world at exactly 11:01 pm.

 It wasn't the experience I had expected. It was all far from that. However, the first time I held her in my arms I realized the reason why people tell me only the wonderful things. It's because of that sudden seemingly amnesia I got when I held my baby for the first time and because nothing else really mattered aside from that. Not how I look, not how how tired I am, not how much my  cut hurt, not even that awful taste in my mouth. Nothing else but that amazingly beautiful baby in my arms. That I can say is the only thing worth remembering.

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